fogparty

sacredest...

headed to Cleveland for a friend’s wedding at the church i served in 8 years ago.  so great to see friends.  as i was driving down… i remembered something a counselor asked me years ago when i was working through some stuff with him.  “randy, when you’re returning from vacation… as you’re driving back into town… are you thinking about coming back to a job… or are you thinking about coming back to people?”

driving to Cleveland… i have to admit… when that question came back into my awareness, i was thinking more about going to a wedding at a church i used to pastor than thinking about the people i was going to see.  that’s not a good thing.

but recognizing it helped me to shift into “people” mode.  and from then on… it was an interesting drive.  my mind… and i’d like to think GOD… brought back a lot of memories from our time there.  memories of people and events…

i began re-living it all… reconnecting with the emotions… the people… and my friends.

and when i arrived… even though it was 5 minutes before the wedding was to start… i was amazed with all the people i was able to instantaneously remember and relate with on a pretty deep level… at least from my angle.

…some reminded me of things i did for them that i had long forgotten.

…some told new stories that filled in the missing pieces from where we’d left off.

i was amazed at how quickly we re-engaged.

the church has grown a ton and is doing some pretty exciting things.  it’s clear it’s gone way beyond what i was ready to take it when i was there.

and i got a chance to spend the evening with some good friends.

then the next morning i took off early to run in the metroparks.  not many were out.  it was perfect.  i forgot how beautiful the area is.  and there on that 7 miles i saw place after place where GOD had met me. 

i realized that although i know all space is sacred space… because GOD is everywhere…

…but some spaces feel more sacred that others… because we touched the face of GOD there.

and as i reconnected with the GOD of those “sacredest” spaces… my years and ministry and friends and experiences… and even my memories of frustrations and frustrating people… …became sacred.

so… driving home…  it was pretty sweet.

that felt good!

yes... i've been running.  and although i've had some good runs... i'm moving slower than i'd like and having to take more breaks than i should.  eating right hasn't gone quite as well.  still can't pass up the goodies.  i've restricted myself to some degree... but still give myself permission way too often.

but near the end of my run today... it felt like an old friend returned.

maybe you won't understand this... but it's kind of like my old stride came back.  unfortunately it was near the end of my run.  i wanted so bad to head back out and really add some miles.  but jenn's honors ceremony was this morning.  couldn't miss that.

hope it's there the next time too.

i'm heading to cleveland for a friend's wedding from a church where i was on staff.  i'm hoping to run the old tow path like i used to.  that's really where i first started running.  a bit of nostalgia.  seeing old friends and capturing old memories.  maybe just what i need right now.

sometimes...

sometimes the fog is so thick...

                                             it's hard to dance.

but someplace...   

                                                       ...deep in my soul...

         ...the music still plays.

and if i'm still... 

and listen very carefully...

                                    ...i realize my heart still keeps The Beat.

one pretty awesome lady

while i was running the other morning… i got to thinking about all the things my wife has put up with over the years we’ve been together… and the things I’ve put her through.

…would you believe…

…8 moves in the 21 years we’ve been married?

...one of those move being into what we affectionately call, “the cottage in the woods.”

          …we’re talking small!

          …all 3 kids in one bedroom (fortunately they were little… …and loved it)

…and that teeny tiny kitchen…

…about 6x10            … with the teeny tiny stove

               …oh yes…  …and it was the dining room too.

…and buying the house in Peoria sight unseen.  ...yep... ...we really did.

…how many wives would go along with such a thing? 

…none i know of…               …but one.

…and let’s not forget about 2 difficult pregnancies…

         …each leading to near-death experiences

…followed by long slow recoveries.

…and  how many surgeries?              …i’m guessing at least 7…   …no, 8!

…long drives home alone to spend a few hours with the family i took her away from

…all with the kids in the back… 

…managing restrooms along the way with 3 in tow.

…and we won’t even talk about difficult deacon boards… bosses… challenging neighbors…

                          ...or the seminary years… and bills

…but through it all she’s rarely complained

…she’s stayed positive…           …and faithful to me and to GOD...

…and to our kids.

yep… one pretty awesome lady.

on our wedding day i sang about her being the proverbs 31 woman…

…some chuckled.

…but i knew…                                     

… and i was right.

you have bewitched me… body and soul… …and I lo… lo... love you.

                                                                               …forever…

the pit in my stomach is gone!

great news!  i ran today… after taking a couple weeks off as our home schedule fell back closer to normal.  ran 3 and walked another 1.

and the bowling ball in my stomach disappeared!  or maybe it’s more accurate for me to say that it shifted to muscle aches in my feet and legs.  oh well.

i did it...

i’ve been putting it off for a long time… hoping to feel a bit better… hoping to get in shape before i committed.  but… today i put down my money and signed up to run in the Chicago marathon in October.

i’ve got to get in shape for the st. jude Memphis to Peoria run in august anyway, but that’s nothing like a marathon.

so… today is the last day for…

               …sleeping in

                    …junk food (for the most part)

          …excuses

we had friends in for the weekend who came and left… and along with leaving behind that wonderful feeling you only get by being with truly good friends… they also left a ton of wonderful leftovers. 

and now the meals resume as beth continues to gain her strength… along with all the breads and desserts people add to the huge main courses.

so… it’s going to take some effort… and i’m asking GOD for help… but i’m gonna feel great a few pounds lighter and with all that time running alone with my Creator.

it’s gonna be good!

...as soon as i get rid of this sick feeling in my stomach that started shortly after i clicked “send” for the registration.