beth's mom... affectionately known around our home as 'saint margaret'... enjoyed christmas with us this year. she's amazing at trying to make it down from canada for the kid's concerts and all. and it's always great to have her around.
often when they're together, you can find beth and her mom playing double solitaire at the dining room table. sometimes i mistakenly refer to it as 2-handed solitaire. but the moon family rules clearly stipulate that only one hand may be used or... you risk losing it. sometimes the play is so ravenous that i've come close to getting a finger lopped off just in the course of a normal game!
so... in the weeks preceding her arrival... beth and i did some practicing. or i should say... beth humored me with a few hands to tease me into thinking there's a possibility i might someday win a game. my hand/eye coordination is sad. so... i take whatever 'humoring' i can get.
like any card game, solitaire is as much about luck as it is skill.
side note: the more time you spend doing something, the greater the opportunity for it to become a pathway for the work of G*D in your life. therefore... enter the theology part of this post.
warning: sudden shift ahead!!!
as i was writing the other day, these thoughts came to mind.
no one would take credit for "just the right" cards being turned up as play begins in a game of solitaire. it's pure chance... unless you intentionally shuffled poorly. and... no one would suggest that G*D ordains which cards face up and which are buried. (well, i guess some people might.)
however, when 'play' moves beyond cards... or when the stakes are higher... many will discover they've unconsiously added a chair for G*D to join them at the game-table. they find themselves beginning to look to him for a little assistance... or... they might begin to question his kindness when they lose a hand at whatever life-game they've found themselves playing.
what i mean is this... the more we feel invested in something, the more we look to whatever it is we look to for help. for some it's a lucky charm. for others it's fate. still others credit themselves... their fortitude, skill and determination. and then some look to G*D. if we've bought the popular church party-line, when good things happen we feel obligated to give G*D at least some credit for his involvement... even if we can't explain how he was involved. strangely though... in the dark times we feel the need to blame someone (usually other than G*D) for the bad luck of the draw. we intentionally leave him out... convinced G*D could not have been involved in something so horrific and pain-inducing. if we choose to include him, we're quick to quote romans 8:28... and proceed to pin the dirty-work on the guy in the red suit... refusing to handcuff G*D even though he was clearly at the crime scene too.
it's interesting that biblical characters never felt this need to absolve G*D of responsibility.
usually we find a place for G*D somewhere in our courtroom pencil sketch. we just don't know whether to draw him as a witness, judge, prosecutor, defender, juror, in the gallery... or all the above!
i'm sure discussions like these make some people cringe. they wonder why we feel the need to blame G*D (or thank him) for what happens in life. they criticize our convenient ability to see him behind one rock and not another.
it's fascinating to realize that through our years and experiences each of us has constructed an intricate system of 'terms and conditions' for how G*D does and doesn't work in and around us. but how often do we actually read the fine print before you click that little box and proceed to the next webpage? i fear too many of our systems need 'updating'... or at least 'refreshing.'
some of my angst these days is no-doubt directly related to my awareness of how harsh it feels to be sitting at the table when someone cavalierly fills your mug with their moonshine theology. too often in our lust for 'the world to know' we create a church culture that unintentionally sabotages the very freedom we advertise Jesus came to bring... simply because we haven't done a walk-thru inspection of our G*D construction site recently.
for instance...
consider prayer. how do you determine what to ask G*D for... or conversely, what things have you decided aren't worthy to bother G*D with? and... should you be thanking him for every big & little thing? how do you determine which things came from his hand and which didn't?
applied to faith. is our faith journey about learning to trust G*D for everything? are you sure that the things you're trusting G*D to do are really things that he's accepting responsibilty to handle? does a person's mis-directed faith obligate G*D to run to their tennis court and hit their faith-ball back over their net?
and if your answer was "i don't know" to one or more of the questions above... think about this question. what do the cliches you so easily throw around publicize as the answer to the question, "how does G*D figure in to all that happens in this world?"
some say...
"i don't concern myself with questions like that. i just trust him."
yeah... i used to be there too. not that i think i will ever be able to manufacture a tangle-free set of 500 christmas lights theology... or even unsnarl the string that i threw into the box last year. all i know is the system i'd constructed reached it's load-limit a few months ago. so i'm exploring... trying to add girders and stronger steel in hopes of being able to drive across the bridge again soon.
but it's not simply a philosophical exercise to me. it's about living with confidence, being a man of integrity and being able to do my job with the same.
so back to the question... how does G*D figure in to all that happens in this world?
some postulate...
- there is no god
- he set it in motion and then went on break
- #2, but add that break time is almost over
- he dabbles in our lives
- he's goes by his own code of when to step in and when not to
- #5, but there are some times he steps in only when we ask him to step in
- #6, but there are certain ways you have to ask him, otherwise nothing will happen
- we're all in a play that he wrote. but as actors, we have some liberty within the role even though we can't change the play.
- he has his hand on every element of life... and we are stringless puppets; but because he gave us minds, hearts, and wills, we are still responsible for our actions.
- he has his hand on everything, but we are free to do as we please... so he's constantly responding to our decisions.
- #10, but add a clause stipulating limitations to our freedom
- #10 and/or #11, but clarifying that our freedom doesn't force his hand in any way. his infinite sovereignty overrides our finite version.
- he knows every decision we make before we make it
- he knows every possible scenario in every possible decison... and therefore knows the ultimate result of our decisions and the end of the story... but gives freedom to us to make our own decisions to which he's constantly responding.
- he used to be in control of it all, but is now limited in what he can do. however, he's in the process of fixing all that. so in the meantime, there's a war going on at head office.
- alter, combine or create your own.
i've heard (and sometimes taught) variations of 5 through 15 in books and churches in my lifetime... each one supported from scripture. the conclusions are diverse and as mind-boggling as their implications. and i haven't even added the 'satan' component yet!!!
since my scans, many have been quick to say, "praise G*D! he answers prayers!" by which they mean, "he answered it the way i wanted G*D to answer it". and i know first hand what it feels like to be in a group and hear someone say it to another person when i, myself, had just received rotten news from my doc.
insensitive? maybe. inconsistent? definitely. i've certainly never heard anyone say it at a funeral. and i cringe at how my various friends must feel who heard it while unwrapping a very different christmas gift... ...from their hospice bed.
so i pose the question.
when i play solitaire... am i playing by myself... or does G*D play along?
I saw a movie last nite that made me think.....
it goes kinda like this so I'll goof it up but here goes....
A boy received a horse as a gift and everyone said, "How lucky!"
Two years later the boy had a terrible accident on the horse and everyone said,"Too bad he got the horse."
Six years later the boy missed the draft because of his bad leg to which everyone responded, "How lucky he feel off that horse...."
You see how the story goes, it could go on to say, ten years later when cancer sat in because of the break to which we would say, "How awful", BUT the diagnosis brought the man to God and he is now a Christ walker to which we all say, "Thank you God." All of this from a gift he received as a child. Or it could go many other ways...fill in as you see fit. So I'll reread your post and think about these things, because I don't really know at this moment. Your posts always make me think. Maybe that is why some religions call card playing "of the devil" cause they don't know the answer either!!!!!! But every ounce of me believes we do nothing alone or out of God's sight or care...the rest requires more thought on my part today....ummmmmmmm.
Posted by: Terry Younkin | December 29, 2007 at 12:38 PM
I heard that since the www was invented that God also answers prayers as long as you forward well written and inspirational ones (usually including beautiful photos) to everyone in your mailbox.
Les, you are the deep end of the pool, I am the zero entry end, and I am not sure what to make of this particular post.
Posted by: Rick Lingenfelter | December 29, 2007 at 04:50 PM
Randy, I cannot know all that you go through in heart & body & mind, probably because I'm too absorbed in myself! You are a deep well, and good to vulnerably share for the benefit of others. As to your last of many questions, I do not believe that you play the game alone. God, at the very least, is there watching over you as you proceed, or are stuck, in the processing, the journey. His exact role, how involved, I do not know, for you or for me. My own struggle with depression, I just hate it. But I have to hang on to the hope, even if it's a placedo thought, that the heart of God is for me, the heart of a loving Father, watching over me, as you and I watch over our children - even when they grow older and make more & more of their own choices without our intervention. And that even if/when God is not pleased with me, as sometimes I am not pleased with my children, or am concerned about what happens TO them, that I still with all my heart love them, and remember that the most important things are the intangible, internal, eternal things. In ways we are all alone ~ alone with God. Whatever it is He does or doesn't do He loves us with an unfailing love (I must believe for my own sanity)and His character is GOOD, VERY good, and as He promised us, will Never leave us, will never forsake us. Besides cancer, you are also, like all of us, battling an unseen war with the evil one who wants to devour our faith and destroy our soul. Thank God we can hide ourself in Him when we are weak, an that God is faithful to help restore and replenish us when we call out for help, and turn to His Word of Life. Randy, I hope this does not seem cliche' or like moonshine theology cavalierly stated. For it's truly out of the depth of my own need. You are a wonderful brother, and remain in my prayers.
Posted by: Janet Hanson | December 31, 2007 at 02:26 PM
While the depth of your questions can only be truly understood by one who has shared your experiences, one comment does come to mind.
While on a run last week, listening to my sermon loaded iPod, I heard this statement (from Alistar Boeg I think)...."The plain thing is the main thing." His point being there will always be questions we can't answer and things we can't figure out. But there are so many things we do understand that to focus on what we don't is sometimes a distraction.
Rest in the truth that God loves us with an undying love...
He promises His peace in spite of the world around us...
and most pointedly....
His ways are not our ways, nor His thoughts our thoughts....
some things we will never understand.
And speaking of not understanding things...why in the world would you want to jump out of a plane???? And we think the God of the universe to be confusing????
Judy
Posted by: Judy Martin | January 04, 2008 at 12:41 PM