big day...

i'm about to hit the sack, but wanted to put down a few of my thoughts.

it's been a long day.  i didn't really have any responsibilities at westwinds today... but i still hung around for all 3 fusions.  i've officially started on a 3 month medical leave of absence...  yet again.  the church has been so good to me... and patient.

as soon as church was out... i headed up to see jenn's last performance of 'babes in arms'... and to catch a few minutes with my little girl after the show.  i think it's been a little rough on her being so busy... and being away from home for all the stuff that's going on with me.  i can't wait to have her home for the summer.

then tonight beth and i helped john celebrate his 40th.  wow... is he ever getting old! 

reminds me of the time not that long ago when a twenty-something friend came over to our home and heard that i'd recently had a birthday.  and after some banter about me getting old... he said, "well, you're not that old.  i'm mean it's not like you're 40 or anything." 

believe it or not... another guy came over just an hour later and said almost the exact same thing!  since i was about 50 at the time... i didn't know whether to take their comments as complements or death sentences!

anyway... it's good to know we're all getting older at the same rate.

these last few days before surgery have been interesting.  at first i went into hyper-drive... trying to get a ton of things done in anticipation of the month long time when i won't be able to lift anything heavier than a jug of milk... or raise my arms over my head.  lots to do to be ready for ian's grad party in june.  but a couple days ago i let go of it all... and decided to just enjoy the time.

i've wrestled with whether i'm too emotionally detatched from what i'm about to undergo... feeling like people around me were more concerned about my health than i was.  but eventually came to the conclusion that all i can do is be myself... and keep looking to G*D for help.  i've had some good prayer times with some friends.  and no matter what... i'm truly not worried.

still there have been those times when it all catches up to me... and i consider how different things could be after the surgery.  and it's hard to think about.  yet... i can't change that.  so it's senseless to linger too long in those thoughts. 

still... tomorrow's going to be a big day.

leave for ann arbor around 5... arrive at 6... surgery at 7:30.

i should be home tuesday sometime if all goes well.

but i know i go supported by much love... good docs... many prayers... an awesome family... and a wonderful G*D.

yep... i've got it pretty good.

Comments

[Leta]

Thinking of you with love and praying for your armpits and heart - gentle healing for both. And that you have the strength to take the treatments a lot easier. We admire and love you - your whole fam too - leta n dave