tomorrow's my final treatment.
today was supposed to be my last one, but they goofed up and had to add a day.
i'm glad it's about over. the side effects haven't been too bad. certainly nothing compared to what i went through last summer. but still it's not been fun.
the fatigue has actually lessened a bit over this past week or two. they / i didn't expect that. so i'm thankful for all who prayed for energy.
i fully anticipated my armpit to be the biggest irritation problem, but it's been the part where my neck connects to my shoulder that's bothered me most. i started with pure aloe... moved to hydrocortizone... and graduated to silver sulfadiazine. maybe tomorrow they'll hand me a bottle of sweet baby rays.
i had a good talk with dr. soriano last week. actually... every week we have good talks. i'm thankful that i keep getting great doctors who take interest in more than my physical health... and allow me inside their heads a bit. what a huge responsibility they carry... and tremendous blessing they are.
it's kind of weird to think that something that is intentionally burning & damaging my skin is supposed to help heal me of skin cancer. of course... that's what's supposed to happen. there are no guarantees in the art of medicine.
a couple of weeks into all this, i started physical therapy. was that ever a good thing! i didn't realize how all the surgeries had affected my arm. on top of the muscles damaged from 5 incisions and resulting scar tissue... the 10 months of lifting nothing more than a jug of milk had weakened my right arm substantially. then slowly i've felt the radiation tightening things down, further restricting my range... but the p.t. has helped to keep it from getting worse than it was. my range is improving slightly... and they're retraining muscles to compensate for those that were weakened or removed.
thankfully it's not the painful kind of rehab like after some shoulder surgeries. i guess this is supposed to help me from getting to that point. seems to be working so far.
i'm not sure how it's all going to end in the morning. do they give you a radiation cake? usually each morning when the tech leaves the room, i wait for that familiar buzz that tells everyone the beam is activated... then i pray for my m&m buddy, kris. but i'm trying to come up with something special for my last day.
i told one of the techs that sometimes when i hear that little buzz... i'm tempted to start screaming at the top of my lungs... "aaaahhhh!!! turn it off!!! turn it off!!! something's gone wrong!!!"
but my wife doesn't think that would be very funny.
thanks G*D, for helping me through this last 7 weeks. and now as i wait for whatever is next... let me wait in confidence & peace... knowing that these days are more about healing & moving forward than i could ever understand.
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