fogparty

ugh...

something on my "to do" list that keeps getting moved to the "avoid doing if at all possible" list... is our yearly christmas tiding.

beth didn't like my idea to just send everyone a link to my blog.  oh well.  i tried.

so... on to our yearly "animated" discussion about whether we'll...

1. keep it simple with one of those photo greeting thingys...
2. go with a christmas card and throw in a pic of the kids...
3. do the traditional family letter...
4. or attempt the more elaborate "shafer buzz".

we nixed #1 because we thought we should update people about our crazy year.  and the "card with a pic" idea got scratched because that usually ends up being a ton of work for beth... and she's got enough to do right now.  i like to be a bit more creative than #3.  so... that left #4.

actually i love doing the "shafer buzz."  but i also hate doing it.

first i compile some of the noteworthy events of the year.  then i weed out the ones that i think no one will really care about.  then i attempt to come up with a captivating title or headline.  and finally i write a funny script for each one that mixes reality with a little bit of fun... which is where things get a little tense.

for some reason when i tell stories on our family, everyone gets a little edgy.  i start getting comments like, "they're going to think you're serious, dad!" or "you'd better not tell them about..." and "i don't like that picture."  then there's the "that's too wordy" and the "you need a comma here" comments.  i guess in the end it makes the whole thing better than it would have been. 

today, between hanging a few more lights, changing a headlight, cutting some home-made fudge for beth (and eating a few along the way), finishing the laundry (among other things)... i also managed to finish the text of the shafer buzz... and survived the comments of the writer's guild that shares my home.

there's still lots more work before it's out the door.  but as far as i'm concerned... the hardest part's over.  although... here's one i wrote in june of '06 that never got stuck into an envelope.  so we'll see what happens this year. (click to make it larger)

if you don't get one by summer, it's probably because we don't have your address... or ran out of stamps...

...or one of my kids mugged me on the way to the mail box.

a huff and a puff...

no... this post isn't about my running attempts.

recently beth came home from her 'school specialty' convention in orlando... tired... but with a little toy.

since she markets products to all levels of schools... her last seminar dealt with preschool stuff.  little did she know that in each of the final seminars the companies give away the products they demonstrate.  so... she managed to abscond with some props to help a teacher tell the story of the 3 little pigs.  (i'm thinking next year she needs to sign up for the computer lab... or some electronics thing.)

anyway... she was very excited.  and... when she arrived home she proudly displayed her treasures.

they were very cute... but i told her that the wolf didn't look mean enough.

she reminded me that it was for preschoolers and that it shouldn't look scary.  but i reminded her that the wolf in the story was trying to eat the 3 little pigs and that this wolf looked more like the kind of wolf that had gone through shock therapy... and that the story just didn't work with a 'recovered' wolf.

once again she reiterated that it was for preschoolers... and that a blood-thirsty wolf wouldn't be appropriate for preschoolers.

i suggested that maybe it was the story that was inappropriate for preschoolers.  to which she said... "no, with these tools they can learn to count and lots of other fun stuff." 

actually she probably didn't use the word 'stuff' because 'stuff' just isn't a word she'd use.  she'd have used some other word that would be a lot more colorful... and descriptive... and accurate.  one that would fit well on a scrabble board... or in a crossword.

i hate crosswords.

i... however... use the word 'stuff' a lot.  which is probably why i thought i might actually know a thing or two about preschoolers.

anyway... as beth and i debated... ian joined in and suggested that no matter how one tells the story, the 3 little pigs is an important tale for all ages... the moral being "we should all look deep within ourselves for the wolf that lies inside."

oh, brother... what have i created?

i surrender...

okay...

after literally picking up every piece and twisting each one to try every possible way in which it might fit...

...and going through this process for 3 different holes in the puzzle...

...unsuccessfully... 

...i surrender.

never again...

even though my extended family all left the day after thanksgiving... beth & i agreed to follow through with the family tradition of catching a movie with the kids.  the only snag was agreeing upon which movie to see.

emms and jenn wanted to see 'enchanted.'  ian wanted to see 'hitman' or 'american gangster' or 'beowulf'... basically anything but 'enchanted.'

beth and i didn't care... as long as the kids agreed.

finally it was decided that 'august rush' was the show we'd all enjoy. 

then the whining started. 

dad's can't win once the puppy face whining starts.  when am i ever gonna learn?

so... we called the family meeting to discuss the issue with all of us in the same room.  turns out... jenn & emma had their hearts set on seeing 'enchanted'... and launched their campaign slogan... "i think you'd really like it.  it's the kind of movie we'll all like.  it's not just a girl movie"

so... with that in mind... ian and i struck a deal.  we'd go see 'enchanted' if he and i could go see some guy movie later.  but... the girls couldn't complain about not getting to see a second movie.  and... we get pop & popcorn!

deal.

within 5 minutes of sitting in the theater... ian and i knew we'd made a huge mistake.  first of all... the girls gave us murderous looks until we were guilted into sharing our concession stand goods.  then... the movie started.

it was torture.

think snow white, barbie and sickening sweet musical thrown into a blender.

before we left the parking lot, ian and i agreed that we were desparately low on testosterone.  so after dropping the ladies off at home... we returned to town to catch 'beowulf.'

ahhhhh.  i feel much better now.

stuffed...

a few months ago it looked like it would be slim pickins for who'd be gathering together from our family for american thanksgiving this year.  ever since mother & dad died... we've each focused a bit more on building our own individual family thanksgiving traditions. 

it's funny to think about how different things are now than when my parents & grandparents were around...  and even since i rode my bike along 'shafer road'.  growing up just a couple miles from the family homestead in indiana... most of the houses along that stretch of pavement had been bursting with relatives at one time or another.  i can count eight of them within five miles.  i guess that was good reason enough for the county to name it way back when. 

but these days... with family in maryland and florida and california and several places in between... it was highly unlikely that many of us would be in the same kitchen to snap the wishbone... even if we tried hard.  so when beth and i rang the michigan thanksgiving dinner bell... we figured the neighbors would be more likely to show up than family.

but... a funny thing happens when you mention 'mint dazzle', 'gooey butter' & 'pretzel salad'... throw in a little turkey, mashed potatoes & noodles, add some candied sweet potatoes. 

even beth's 59-cent goodwill 'welcome' mat couldn't keep them away.

yes... a couple of niece & nephew plates went unfilled.  and we missed them terribly. but it was wonderful to have almost everyone squeeze into our home for a couple days.

none of us were certain whether kelly's pig nose was real or not.  there's no doubt he won the prize for eating the most... even though reed was a close second.  or was it bruce?

i figured out why people over-eat at thanksgiving.  it's because we're re-tasting good memories. 

loved ones fill our kitchen through the various recipes that cover our counter-top... and even in some that didn't make the 2007 cut.  so far no one has revived mother's experimental rendition of sweet & sour brussel sprouts... a recipe that was doomed to failure from the start.  but nonetheless, we still like to tell how two decades ago barry dutifully ate a mound of the little green balls, because just moments after hearing him remind his little girl, tricia, to finish hers... i seized the opportunity... and said "your dad likes them so much, he wants mine too!"... while i scraped my portion onto his plate. 

check-mate!

of course... no thanksgiving day is complete without the annual puzzle challenge.  i think this is the first year, however, that people gave up and left before it was finished.  i'm not a fan of puzzles... and now the only remaining pieces (that cover our table and prevent us from shrinking it back to normal size!) are all the same color.  thanks a lot!  i'm not sure if it's the memory of my mother persevering to the last piece that keeps calling me to match shape to shape... or the haunting thought of the box laughing at me if i were to let the remaining 53 win.  arrrgh... the curse of the unfinished puzzle!

at least i got my pre-thanksgiving projects done.  well... almost, i guess.  beth wonders why it is that i start on big jobs just hours before everyone is scheduled to arrive.  and i just can't figure out why she can't see that installing closet organizers and cleaning out the garage aren't important.

oh well.  it's all behind us now.  the house is quiet.  the relatives have gone... the kids are each spending the night at friends... we're vegging on the couch watching a movie... ignoring the pleas from the box of 1000 just a few feet away.

it's been a challenging year for pretty much everyone in our family.  lots of illness, adjustment and hard times.  so... spending a few hours together just stuffing ourselves with new memories... and re-heating a few old ones... was a great thing.

thanks G*D... for memories... for food... for family.

getaway part... ...final...

our final destination was the town of columbus, indiana.

i've wanted to show columbus to beth so many times over the years.  but... it's not exactly on the way to anyplace we usually go.  so... we've never gone.

columbus was first introduced to me while studying architecture at ball state.  we took a field trip there because the city has an unusually high amount of buildings, landscapes & sculptures designed by world-renowned architects.  due to the foresight and tenacity of a couple of men, the trend has continued on from their initial break from the typical small town downward spiral.

as extra incentive to visit... at our grade school reunion this summer, i discovered that one of my classmates now lives there.  and... since she & her husband volunteer and give bus tours through the visitors center... the promise of a personalized tour was too hard to resist.  rhonda also loves photography... even though she probably didn't get her start through the 4-h club, like i did.  but she's pretty good, just the same.  one of the pics on this post is hers.

but she doesn't spend all her time taking pictures.  since moving there, rhonda has plunged head-first into uncovering the wonders of a furniture factory owned and operated years ago by her family.  who knows... sometimes people have a piece of it in their home and don't realize it.  very beautiful stuff.  bob works hard to support rhonda's appetite for hunting down and purchasing old unique pieces... then manuvering them up the stairs and around tight corners to their final resting place.  'final'... that is until the new house they're building is finished.  ha!

unfortunately we didn't allow enough time to see everything we wanted to see in columbus... nor to spend with b & r... but we did have a great time... and a great dinner together i might add.  it's amazing how little we've both changed.  in the process of catching up... we realized that rhonda grew up in the same house behind 'the home' that my mother grew up in.  amazing.

finally at the end of a wonderful day, beth and i checked in to a little b&b for the night.  and the next day we headed north to our kids who were no doubt pining for us by then.  ha!

all in all... it was a fantastic ending to a much needed getaway.

wonderful.

in the wings...

okay... if someone would have told me that i'd turn all sappy watching my kids outgrow their parents... ...i just might have said 'no' to the 'let's have kids' thing.

and why is it different with daughters than sons?  sons are supposed to grow up and move out.  daughters?  they're supposed to stay locked in their rooms away from the big bad world... and the horny guys... until their 35th birthday.

i know i'm just being over protective... and unrealisitc.  so... maybe i'll settle for a self-defense course and undo the dead bolt when she's 33.

what am i supposed to do when i turn around and suddenly she's changed?  and it's happening more and more often... faster than my heart can keep up!

just the same... i love who she is... and who she's becoming.  and i'm thankful i can say that about all our kids... and mean it.

last weekend emma was in a play at the high school.  freshman usually get bit parts or join the team of 'extras' that fill in the stage for crowd scenes... and she was happy just to be part of it all.  but... i must admit i was a little surprised & proud to see her initiative to not only take her background role seriously... but add some flair to it... transforming herself from just another one of the kids at school... to the class 'nerd'.  inhaler, glasses, awkward movements and all.  then becoming a cantankerous old lady in a later scene.  bringing depth and a little humor every time she walked on stage.

of course for us... she was the hit of the production.  we were rolling in our seats... searching each scene for what subtle flavor she'd add next... like hunting for 'gold-bug' in the richard scary books we'd read together when she was small.

see was confident... hilarious... and amazing.

then last night we drove up to east lansing for another 'up til dawn' event for st. jude children's research hospital.  on the way we reminisced about her first one at the university of illinois when she was just 9 and still in treatment.... walking into an auditorium with 300 students who'd come to help the cause... and hear the story of a little girl who was fighting for her life.

she remembered that dad did most of the talking that day... turning to her with questions from time to time... hoping she'd chime in with something more than the sound of her knocking knees.

my, how she's grown.

to stand at the back of the room last night... watch her up front telling her story... glancing at her notes... smiling... projecting... making eye contact with a room full of college students to say thanks for coming out to write letters home to ask friends and family to support st. jude and the kids...

...kind of makes a dad proud.

but she's still not going to date until she's 33.

goblins everywhere...

why do i hear giggling at 6 in the morning?

oh... that's right... emma and her friend, grace are dressing up for school... together. 

i better get up.  i guess it's a photo opp.  after all... next year they may think that it's uncool to dress up.  naw... not emma.  if there's anyone who could give jenn a good run for the title of drama queen... it's emms.

tonight... all sorts of cleverness rang our doorbell looking for cavities.

not at our house!  this year, beth is handing out microwave popcorn and little cans of playdough.  ian thinks it's appalling.  "kids want candy, mom!" 

in teen speak that's "mom, i'm hungry.  where are the "gummy bones" and little snickers bars?"

 

parma was hoppin'...

something strange happened last night at western high...

last year when the opportunity was thrown out to students to participate in a 3-day workshop with 'the young americans', i was curious to see ian & emma's response.  i figured emma would be "in" for sure... but ian?  he's a harder one to predict when it comes to things that might interfere with his social calendar.

there's no telling what interests your kids will latch on to.  the best a parent can do is give them lots of opportunities to experiment... and jump on those things that seem to spark something deep inside your child...  and hope the experience will at least erect a road marker among their high school memories.

so when both of them seemed more than a little excited about the workshop... i was thrilled.  but none of us could have predicted how much fun... and work... it would be in the end.

beth and i ended our getaway just in time to grab seats in the packed house last night... and we were not disappointed.

all of them had a blast... met some interesting people... worked hard... did a great job... and i think came home with something new in their hearts... ...in spite of their aching muscles.

i know that the big & little screens have captured the limelight when it comes to theatrical art for most kids today... but i'm thankful the schools keep offering opps like this.  the chance for our kids to participate in something that was bigger than themselves was energizing.  it stretched them... and gave them a vision for life beyond their normal routines. 

and that's a good thing for any of us.

pyg-tures...

okay... pardon my pride.

look for more 'jpygs' on the sidebar.

now that the show is over... i don't feel hesitant to spoil anything for anyone.

the costumes were incredible... as were all the actors.

ben and i went last night for the final evening performance... making it my 4th.  it was fun seeing the show progress.  it was fun watching jenn in her element.

if you wonder why i don't have pics of all the stuff my other kids do... ...i guess it's because a pillow over my head while i sleep is all it takes. 

but just wait until they move out of the house.