fogparty

2nd path...

(this was written a couple of weeks ago)

when thoughts enter my brain that seem too weird for me to conjure up... i usually pursue them to find out where they'll lead.  sometimes the path dead ends... but not usually.  at other times it takes a sharp turn at some point, heading me in a direction i was totally unprepared for... and sometimes onto paths i was hesitant to take.  sometimes it turns out to be a shortcut.  other times... i realize it was the "expert" trail.  but usually it all starts with the same question.

"okay G*D, what's that supposed to mean?"

so... hear i sit... now several days out from my run of origin... on some path leading to who knows where.  yesterday it led me into some tar pits.  big black stinky ones.

to be honest... the journey is too complex and too personal to explain... but it dropped me at the doorstep of jeremiah where i'll be spending the next few days.  jeremiah's a book of twisted story-lines and powerful images. 

who know what sort of cancer treatment i'll encounter there.

thought i'd try another run this morning.  on my way there, i encountered a little 5k they do at the university close by.  passing runner after runner... i was caught off guard by the amount of emotional volcanic activity inside.  then... my eyes fell on joe lerczak.  he's a friend who's been beating his cancer & running pretty much through his entire treatment.  an inspiration to be sure.

needless to say... i lost it... and was thankful to be in the privacy of my car.

not sure what all this means.  i guess it's just another entry in a life being healed & refined & re-imagined.

even though my own run was short... it went better than earlier this week.

as a good friend always reminds me... "baby steps"

heart attack...

relax.  not the kind you're thinking of.

this morning as i was on my way to the trail for a jog/walk (the post from earlier today was actually written a couple of weeks ago)... my blackberry lit up alerting me to an email.

it was from kim and my st. jude run buddies who were down in memphis gearing up for the start of the memphis to peoria run.  they just wanted me to know that they'd not forgotten me... and that they're still carrying the torch.

the email came with mixed emotions.  i want so much to be with them... but i'm very proud of each one of them.. and thankful for them too.  together they will have raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for st. jude children's research hospital... this year alone.

when kim emailed me, they were getting ready to go to the hospital.  they would have arrived in memphis last night... had their private runners meeting... then joined fellow supporters for a banquet where some were no doubt honored for their longevity & extra hard work in helping the kids.  then a few will have ventured out to beale street for some late night fun & libation before hitting the sack in the hotel or rv.

this morning they will have attached the banners to the motor-homes... scarfed done some breakfast before heading to the hospital.  then i'm guessing they will have been given a tour of the new chili's care center on the st. jude campus.  that's where emma & i went on our last visit.  it's pretty sweet.

finally... after a few pep talks and a prayer... the gold team will have hit the pavement around noon to start the long run home.  sounds like it's a hot one there as usual.  (weather.com said it was 97 degrees just now, but that it feels like 108.  real temps must have been above 100 when they started)... proof they don't do this for fun & exercise.

as the blue team passes the runners... they'll hang out doors & cheer those already drenched with proof that they think more of the kids than themselves.  some will run their 6 mile leg at a 10 min./mile pace, like my segment... others will run 5-6 min./mile segments, like big t's.  some will succumb to the heat and get in the runner van after a mile or two.  it doesn't really matter.  it's all good.  finally they'll catch up to the blue team waiting for their chance to prove they're just as much in love with the kids.

eventually on saturday night... after around 485 miles of pavement... they'll find family & friends cheering their finish... proud of all their hard work and sacrifice.

so... my run this morning had a few tears mixed in with it.  tears of sadness that i can't be there to keep my rv family on the straight and narrow as they try to get me off of it!  tears that i can't join in the cause in such a tangible way.  tears of thankfulness for the memories... and tears of pride for my friends who have dropped everything one more time for the sake of families like ours who woke up one day to find everything had changed.

thanks gold & blue.

thanks mike & sherianne.

you're all the best.

path-ology...

i got up early this morning to take i & e to the church to catch the gang heading to cedar point today.  got back to the house... and, i don't know if it was G*D moving in me or just the freshness of the morning... but something drew me to dig through the dust to uncover my running shoes.  that... plus the lingering taste of the 2 chocolate chip cookies i had before breakfast... pushed me out the door... into the car... and over to the recently opened "falling waters trail."

i knew this run would be a joke.  it's been too long.

some people have been encouraging me to give-up and invest in a bike.  maybe someday.  but not today.  i'm not quite ready to let go.

i read john 15, one of my staple passages, so i'd have something to keep my mind off the wheezing.  these verses are the mother lode and critical to my journey of late.

parked the car... hid the keys.  then i stretched a bit, although i'm not sure why.

the neuropathy plays tricks on my mind.  so before i started, i took off my shoes to make sure my sock wasn't stuffed between some of my toes... even though i've fallen for that too many times to count.  but it got me again.  i'm thankful my feet are less painful than they were.  not sure if that's due to improvement or to not being on them as much.  either way, i'm thankful.

my nephew is an excellent runner... and helps manage a running store in ft. wayne.  he told me recently he could hook me up with some shoes that are specially made for people with neuropathy.  i'm guessing they're pricey... but maybe they'd be worth the extra moolah.

walked for awhile.  then jogged to see how things felt.

i didn't jog far.  probably just a few hundred yards.  my feet didn't feel bad, but i could tell my legs could use some strengthening.  i'm sure the gut i've acquired didn't help any either.

walked a bit more... jogged... walked... then picked a realistic marker in the distance and jogged some more before declaring the official half-way point for my reasonable first-time-back-in-the-saddle jog.

on my way back, i decided my last leg would be to jog all the way back to my beginning point.  but that marker was around a bend... and i didn't want to start too soon, only to fail my goal.  so i decided i'd wait until it came into sight before i'd begin jogging.

one of the reasons i love running so much is because it continually drops illustrations and life-lessons at my doorstep.  as with any sport, dream, challenge, or pursuit... they spew images that crossover into other life-layers.  personally i think it's what naturally happens when you create some space to listen... letting G*D use any language he wants to get through to our pre-occupied minds.  but i can't say that i expected to have an encounter on my first day back on the trail.

anyway... as soon as i made the decision to hold off jogging until i could see the mark i'd picked... a quiet thought barged onto the path. 

 "sometimes you just have to start running even if you can't see the end.  and realistically... what's the big deal even if you do have to walk to the finish?  would you rather play it safe... or stretch yourself?"

hmmmmm.  i never know how to take these kinds of thoughts.  but looking back, i wondered... was G*D issuing me a throw-down???

anyway, i started to jog... the end outside of my visual grasp... but locked into my imagination.

but as my sleek body glistened & glided along the trail... (literary license to mask the reality that i was lumbering along, sweating profusely)... i wrestled with another thought.  a question, this time.

"what if what you think is around this bend is different?  what if everything has changed?"

hmmmmmm...

what a weekend!!!

it's good when you finish a weekend with your family and you look back and you say to yourself... "i'm glad we did that."

as i mentioned before... scott & esther were phenomenal hosts. our time at the track watching "holme equity" was a lot of fun... and fascinating!

then esther threw a "simple" pre-race meal together for us. esther never does anything "simple"... or at least, her "simple" makes martha beg for more jail time. tasty appies... unbelievable chicken... homemade spaghetti sauce... amish sourcream apple pie from scratch (she apologized later for using a store bought crust). it was all incredible.

then race day...

3:00 a.m. - i'm awake... Lord... please help me go back to sleep!

5:15 a.m. - alarm

5:25 a.m. - get up... shave... clean-up... wake dave up

6:15 a.m. - personally chauffeured to the start line by scott...my private doctor... (not exactly sure why he insisted in taking the day off and following me around for the entire run... i probably would have felt better if he hadn't have carried his little black doctor bag and that AED device with him everywhere he went.)

7:10 a.m. - meet up with lance (westwinds elder and fellow early morning grumbler)

7:20 a.m. - meet up with old friends, ty & dave... pray together by buckingham fountain

7:30 a.m. - hmmmm... ...those trees over there look thirsty

7:35a.m. - line-up!

8:00 a.m. - the race begins!!! (at least... that's what they told us)

8:18 a.m. - we finally cross the "start" line after walking over tons of clothes stripped off by the runners ahead of us

then... for the next 5+ hours i pass mile after mile of cheering fans... volunteers galore... colorful runners like the super hero running group... the guy with the blonde afro and super tight blue jean 70's outfit... thing 1 & thing 2... mutant ninja turtles... and of course tons of charity runners and fans for lymphoma, american cancer society, st. jude, aids and on an on.

the music was great (best in the hispanic district though), weather was cool to cold, windy, but at least the rain held off.

awesome to run by my family on a couple of ocassions. (would have been more... if they hadn't have stopped at every starbucks along the route)

incredible to hear the cheers from westwinds on my phone during both fusions while i ran. and many many emails and voicemails that came in on my blackberry as i ran. all wonderful and encouraging. they really helped me keep my mind in the sane category.

mile 22 is where i began to really feel the pain. since i was running without my glasses... i had no hope of finding lance and dave. it gets quite humbling when the speed walkers are passing you... but my right knee was bothering me (which had never happened in training) and my left foot was giving me some trouble too.

people had warned me that there would come a point at which i would have to mentally work to just put one foot in front of the other. there was a guy with a bright orange illini hat and a cool running shirt a few feet ahead who was walking. he was much younger than i... and looked more fit than i... so i figured he must be having trouble... and so as i passed him i encouraged him a bit and kept running. after i did... i seconded guessed my words because i thought maybe if someone said something to me that i would have socked them.

not terribly far down the course, i started walking a bit... and it wasn't long before the guy with the orange hat and cool shirt passed me.

troubled that he was walking faster than i was... i started this mental game. i'd run past him until i couldn't take running anymore and would begin to walk. then he'd pass me... and whenever he'd get about 10 yards in front of me... i'd start running again. this repeated itself for pretty much the rest of the race. and at one point he encouraged me as he passed me... walking.

so, finally, we're both about a half mile out... and i ran up to him and thanked him for being my "mark" for the last few miles... and encouraged him that he had helped me finish. he quickly responded that i had done the same for him... and then he started running with me... and we crossed the line together... did the guy hug thing... and said good-bye. it was pretty cool.

and in 5:38:39 it was all over.

well... not really... meeting my family and friends... getting some pics... hobbling to the car... reading emails and listening to voicemails... taking a shower... eating some of esther's homemade chocolate chip cookies... listening to my son navigate in the front seat while my wife drives... talking on the phone to people i love. in spite of the pain... it was all good.

okay...

so maybe my time wasn't as good as robert cheruiyot's...

but i did finish...

and... ...i might add...

...a bit more gracefully

race day approaches...

that's right! this weekend I'll be in the windy city for the big chicago marathon. race time is 8:00(CST) and i expect it to take between 4-6 hours to finish! so... let's just say i would appreciate your prayers.

i got a crazy idea this week.

i figure i'm gonna need some encouragement to make the 26.2 miles. so... ...i've decided to run the marathon with my blackberry!!! ...as if i need anything to slow me down!

anyway... that will allow all my friends to send me encouraging, motivating, threatening emails or voicemails while i run!!! then... after the race is over... you'll be able to say that you were part of helping me cross the finish line. (it does not, however, mean that you should look for your name in my will should i keel over dead.)

on another note... since i'm running to raise money and awareness for the great work the people do at st. jude children's research hospital... you could also make a pledge to St. Jude. any amount would be appreciated. and in truth... i'm really running because of the kids

so... either way... send an email to [email protected] or call me at 517.914.3195 between 8a.m. and 2p.m. (CST)! i probably won't pick up the phone... but i'll listen to the messages every hour or so.

it will be kind of like running the marathon along side of me... but without the muscle aches and foot pain and chaffing and...

concentrate, randy... it's for the kids... it's for the kids... it's for the kids... it's for the kids...

(if i feel really ambitious during the run... i may post some mile markers on the blog as i go. but... i wouldn't count on that.)

one week...

7 days from now i'll be riding the "el" with a mass of other delirious people who have been training for months... all of us on our way to one spot in chicago... all of us nauseous with excitement and disbelief that we're about to run 26.2 miles in the chicago marathon.

i guess not everyone will be nauseous... those who've run it before or other thons like it.

i pretty sure i'll be nauseous.

sometimes i like running in the dark...

sunrise came too late this morning. and it's raining too. but... if i think too long... another day will be gone.

even through the cloud cover... the full moon helps a bit.

it's nice to be out... working the body... freeing the mind. no need to close my eyes.

not even enough light to see my breath in the cool morning air.

the night brings rest to all... restoration.

what a joy to drink it in and prepare my soul for the day of hurry.

a car in the distance takes my eyes prisoner, but only later steals the darkness... and the pre-dawn peace. as it approaches... it blinds me to my dark friend, then suddenly shifts to embrace me... reminding me of the daylight that will come soon. but once the lights pass i rest again in the dark silence tempered only by the applause of the leaves as they receive the rain.

sometimes the pavement reflects the night so well i question my step... certain the road has ended or that i have risen above it.

so often i fear the night... and the darkness. why do i disguise it with light?

it's not the night i fear... ...or the dark. and it's not the daylight that i prefer.

my fear... is not being able to see in either.

o..oh...

i was running my 10 mile this morning, and about half way through... my left foot started aching.

i kept going... but before long it was too painful to keep running.  i walked for a mile or two... periodically trying to run a bit to see if that would work it out.  eventually it started feeling a bit better and i was able to do a kind of glide run and make it home okay.

but once i was home and relaxed a bit... the pain returned.  so i limped around all day.

my biggest run (20) is coming up on monday... but it looks doubtful i'll be able to do it with the kind of pain i'm experiencing.

i went online tonight to some running sights to see if they could help me figure out what was going on.  and the unofficial online diagnosis is that it's a strain at best... and a stress fracture at worst.  most conclude i need to see a doc for a bone scan to see if there's a fracture.

most indicated that it could heal within a few weeks of rest.  they were also encouraging that because a major part of my training is over... i might actually be able to do the marathon in late october without any problem. 

sooooooo... since it's friday night... i'll rest it for a day or two to see how it feels... but if it's not better by monday... off to the doc i'll go.

bummer

sweet 16...

how's the running going, you ask?

well... i looked at my training schedule wrong and skipped a week and last weekend did the 15 mile run i was scheduled to do this weekend. so... rather than do another 15 and get back on track... yesterday i went ahead and did the 16 that i was supposed to do next weekend.

it went pretty well too. yahoo! hard to imagine that i'm actually running that far... and even harder to believe i'm enjoying it. i'm experimenting with different power gels since someone warned me that some brands and flavors give people the trots.

i've got to get a plan together to raise more moolah for st. jude kids though. i'm still short around a grand from what i had pledged. i think the kids hitting up people for the katrina mission trip hurt my support base a bit this year. that's okay... just means i have to get a little more creative.

off and running again...

after a wee break after the run… i resumed my training this morning.

…you didn’t think that the "memphis to peoria run" was all i had planned did you?

no, this fool is attempting something he’s never ever done before in his entire life.  i’m going to do a marathon!!!

now… for some of you that is something you conquered a long long time ago… and many times over.  but it will be a first for me.  i’m registered to do the chicago in late october.  friends have told me it’s a great first marathon because it’s flat… and because there are people along each step of the course.  that sounds good… …more people to laugh at me when i do a face plant into the asphalt!

i really am pumped though, because i’ll be running for st. jude kids there too!  i had set a goal of $4000 for my support this year and i’m almost at the ¾ mark.  not bad… but now is when it will get hard.  i’m going to have to think of some creative ideas to raise the last chunk.

got any suggestions?

oh… one more note… i’m listing all my st. jude posts under “running”.  so if you just like reading up on that stuff without yawning over my personal stuff… you can have it sort for you.  at least… that’s what i hope will happen.